My Dad:Farmer and Diet Guru
November 26th 2006 10:48
My dad worked in town during the day, but his passion was for farming. We thus had a variety of animals around our house, but beef cattle and sheep dominated the place. My dad's real calling though was diet wizard. The problem was that he was an expert on weight gain, not weight loss.
Farmers make money on beef cattle that have attained a suitable weight and the faster the better. Range -fed beef will get there eventually but, if my dad was in a hurry, he fell back upon a proven technique. A promising steer was chosen from the herd and placed in a small pen, where he could walk around but no long strolls or wind sprints. (Yes,a kind of like a human sitting in an office all day.) Dad wasn't going to let exercise slow up the process of weight gain.
What he did next was simple but effective. He proceeded to feed this lounging steer a steady diet which was almost totally comprised of complex carbohydrates. That lucky beast was liberally provided with corn and oats which Dad supplemented with hay. Steers are not exactly programmed for abstemiousness, so everything that came into his pen that guy gobbled up. Dad's steer probably laughed at his peers in the pasture with all their exercise and high fiber diet.
Well, you can guess the rest: the glutton started to gain a couple of pounds a day and before you knew it my dad had cashed in on a tidy sale price for a huge steer.
The funny thing is that Dad could have made a fortune by writing diet books for humans like the ones that have been floating around the last couple of decades. The diet he used on the steer is almost exactly what was sold to humans as a panacea for weight loss! Meat was considered bad and carbs were good. "Keep those fat grams to a minimum". A group of women acquaintances of mine were raving one day about fat free cookies, which they felt free to eat in mass quantities. It really got that bad. Adkins and his diet were both considered kooky. "Low carbs?"
One day a pretty lady approached me in the gym and told me she was very upset,because she had gained 10 lbs in recent months and she was nonplussed about it. I suspected the reason." What have you been eating?" I asked her.
"Well," she replied, "My girlfriends and I have been eating spaghetti for lunch alot. We are watching our fats religiously." I knew that the lady had a job in an office.
You probably have my point by now. The fact is that desk sitters are the worst people to be consuming the very kind carbohydrate laden foods that populate the weight loss media. Lets face it. If you are on a predominately carbohydrate diet you will gravitate to starchy junk and tell yourself that its ok, because its low fat. The results are there to see. If you want fitness, I implore you to be suspect of this dietary nonsense. You and the steer could end up in the same state. Really fat and then...(You get it.). Your servant, as always.
Farmers make money on beef cattle that have attained a suitable weight and the faster the better. Range -fed beef will get there eventually but, if my dad was in a hurry, he fell back upon a proven technique. A promising steer was chosen from the herd and placed in a small pen, where he could walk around but no long strolls or wind sprints. (Yes,a kind of like a human sitting in an office all day.) Dad wasn't going to let exercise slow up the process of weight gain.
Well, you can guess the rest: the glutton started to gain a couple of pounds a day and before you knew it my dad had cashed in on a tidy sale price for a huge steer.
The funny thing is that Dad could have made a fortune by writing diet books for humans like the ones that have been floating around the last couple of decades. The diet he used on the steer is almost exactly what was sold to humans as a panacea for weight loss! Meat was considered bad and carbs were good. "Keep those fat grams to a minimum". A group of women acquaintances of mine were raving one day about fat free cookies, which they felt free to eat in mass quantities. It really got that bad. Adkins and his diet were both considered kooky. "Low carbs?"
"Well," she replied, "My girlfriends and I have been eating spaghetti for lunch alot. We are watching our fats religiously." I knew that the lady had a job in an office.
You probably have my point by now. The fact is that desk sitters are the worst people to be consuming the very kind carbohydrate laden foods that populate the weight loss media. Lets face it. If you are on a predominately carbohydrate diet you will gravitate to starchy junk and tell yourself that its ok, because its low fat. The results are there to see. If you want fitness, I implore you to be suspect of this dietary nonsense. You and the steer could end up in the same state. Really fat and then...(You get it.). Your servant, as always.
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